Self-discipline
JEAN'S JOURNAL with Jean Farrell.
I was always, what the nuns used to call, ‘a chatter-box.’ When we were in boarding-school there were many rules in place to teach us ‘self-discipline.’ Having sat silently in class all morning long, we had to line up, in the dining-room, to be served our midday dinner. We were forbidden to talk, in this long line. A cross nun supervised us.
At night, having studied in silence, for many hours, we were forbidden to speak as we got ready for bed. I found this very difficult indeed.
When a loud bell woke us, very early every morning, again, we were not allowed to speak before breakfast. I recall being constantly frustrated at not being able to talk to my friends. I couldn’t understand the concept of self-discipline at all.
Giving up sweets for Lent was the same idea. We were being taught not to be slaves to our bodies – not to be at the mercy of our basic passions and desires.
I clearly recall a nun reading out the following sentence to us, from an old prayer-book. ‘Ever remember that marriage is a sacrament to be prepared for (not by months and years of sinful indulgence) but by a life of prayer, purity and SELF-DISCIPLINE.’ (That was the height of our sex-education from the nuns!)
A few years later, I was with a woman who opened a box of chocolates. I watched, amazed, as she ate every one. “I can’t stop myself once I start,” she told me. “I’m the same with a packet of biscuits.” I was actually appalled at her greed. I realised that, in spite of myself, I had acquired self-discipline and was glad I had.
Sixty years later, as a (very) mature woman, of course I appreciate the necessity of learning self-control. The opposite is instant gratification – ‘I must have it and I must have it NOW.’
Google tells me that, ‘Self-discipline allows you to stay focused on your goals. It enables you to stay in control of yourself and of your reaction to any situation.’
This brings me to all the talk, during early January, about ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and ‘Goals,’ all of which require much self-discipline.
I’m typing this on a dull dreary dark January day. Whilst we may accept that we need to set some minor goals for a bit of self-improvement (or it might even be ‘self-preservation’ at this stage) I don’t think that early January is the time of the year to do so.
January is not the month when we should be putting pressure on ourselves to (1) stop eating the food we enjoy, (2) stop having a glass of wine, (3) or walk for miles. January is not the month to be inflicting hardship on ourselves, at all, at all.
Maybe, in the spring, when the daffodils appear and cheer us up, I might decide to go for a walk every day, or not!
I took this photograph in our lovely library. The selection of ‘Self-help Books’ was on display inside the door. There was another stand of ‘Recently Published Books,’ as well as a stand with novels ‘Recommended by the Staff.’ I love our library and love choosing books from these last two stands.
If you were to decide to set yourself a ‘goal,’ I’d recommend that you decide to stroll into our lovely library now and then. All the daily and local newspapers are there, as well as many interesting periodicals. I love to see folk (a lot retired) sitting reading these.
As I left the library, one day last week, it made me sad to see Horan’s Pork Butcher’s shop closed for good.
I shop in Dunnes Stores all the time. One reason is that I know where everything is. However, the main reason I shop there is that I usually have a voucher, which gives me €10 off if I spend €50 or more, on my weekly shop.
A friend made an interesting point, one day, as we queued together, with our full trolleys. She, like me, shops now for a household of two people only. She said that in order to spend €50, she buys everything in Dunnes Stores. She told me that she used to buy her pork in Horans, her vegetables in Behans and her bread in a bakery nearby. All these shops have since closed. Meanwhile Dunnes Stores business is booming. It’s entirely our own fault that these little shops have closed. We stopped supporting them.
I hope Athlone Bookshop, @Burgess Village continues to thrive. My book ‘Jean’s Journal 2’ is on sale there, as well as many other interesting books.
My ancient bathroom weighing scales finally ‘died’ over the Christmas. (I saw grandchildren weighing heavy dogs on it, one day!) I set off to buy a new one, in a fancy electrical /computer shop. The first scales I saw cost €399. This would ‘deliver precise weight, segmental body composition and heart health analysis, plus exclusive technology that can assess nerve activity.’ That is definitely TMI (too much information!) I settled instead for a basic old fashioned scales that just tells me what I weigh, in stones and pounds. I paid €22 for it, in Tesco. It’ll see me out, hopefully!
A Mass was celebrated recently, in Tullamore, for a nun who was celebrating her 100th birthday. At it, the congregation were informed that there are 11 Mercy Sisters in Ireland over 100 - 4 are 100, 3 are 101, 1 is 103, 2 are 104 and 1 is 107. I’m wondering might celibacy be the secret to a long life!
jeanfarrell@live.ie