A son's story

Athlone man GERALD LYNCH lost his Dad to suicide earlier this year. He is now setting out on a 16-month challenge to raise money and awareness for Console, as he told reporter ADRIAN CUSACK.

Monksland’s Gerry Lynch was “a genius with his hands” according to his son, Gerald.

Whether it was doing mechanical work, landscaping, building, or taking a washing machine apart, Gerry could tackle it with great skill.

“He was my Dad. Every time I wanted to buy a car, fix something around the house, or build a shed, I would ring him,” Gerald says.

But those calls grew less frequent when Gerry “started to go downhill” and became reclusive.

He had battled demons throughout his life. A recovering alcoholic, he stayed sober for two decades but suffered terribly with depression, particularly in recent years.

The 60th anniversary of his birth is January 25, 2017. Gerry won’t be there to celebrate the milestone, having died by suicide in March of this year.

“One thing that really sums it up for me is that, not long before he died, I was out in the house and the door handle wouldn’t quite close. The piece for receiving the catch was a few millimetres too high,” Gerald recalls.

“I said I was going to fix it - literally just a matter of taking if off and moving it - but he said 'relax, don’t do it’ and sort of went into a panic. This little thing became a massive job all of a sudden, whereas before this man before would have been able to do everything.

“That was the horrible thing about it. For me, and probably for my family, he was gone a long time before he left us. He wasn’t an old man, he was only 58, but depression had debilitated him to the point that he had lost his independence.”

However, even during his lowest times, Gerry quietly worked to help others. After his death, several people in Alcoholics Anonymous approached his family to tell them about the support he had given them.

“He was helping them to deal with their addictions and inspiring them to battle their demons, despite the fact that he himself was a shell of what he had been,” Gerald says.

“He still found it within him to help and inspire people in their lives. Even though he couldn’t do it for himself he was doing it for other people, and I think that deserves to be remembered.”

That example of reaching out to support others who are experiencing difficult times is one of the motivations behind 'Fit 4 Life’, a 16-month challenge Gerald began in October for the suicide prevention charity, Console.

The 32-year-old Brawney resident will be undertaking a physical challenge each month until January 2017, when his Dad would have turned 60.

Alongside the challenges, he is organising a variety of fundraising events and initiatives.

His first challenge was a 5k 'Mud Run’ in Malahide Castle in October. Gerald then did a 10k 'Run in the Dark’ which was hosted by his former school, Athlone Community College, in November.

This month he’ll be doing a 40k cycle and 5k run on December 27, while 28 people have signed up to do a 'Hell and Back’ challenge with him in Bray at the end of January.

Later in the 2016, he is planning to run his first marathon and complete his first triathlon.

“I’ll be doing something that’s genuinely going to challenge me each month. It won’t be something I can just turn up and do – I will have to push myself,” he says.

In addition, he has been distributing 'Fit 4 Life’ wristbands which are being sold for €2 each, with the proceeds going to Console.

And there will be a fundraising night, with music by local band Macey South, in the Shamrock Lodge Hotel on March 11.

“Rob Irwin, a really talented musician is going to sing (on the night) and he’s written a song called 'I Wish You Were Here’. It’s an amazing song and we’re thinking of possibly releasing that on a CD as well.”

Explaining the meaning of 'Fit 4 Life’, Gerald says “I really believe in a healthy body, a healthy mind. Keeping active does help.

“It was a clear indication to me that when my Dad started to go downhill is when he stopped (working) outside, getting fresh air, and getting energy from it.

“For me, when I started getting a bit fitter three years ago it changed my life. It changed my outlook and changed my confidence.”

Gerald works as store manager for Tesco in Roscommon town. He credits his wife Martina and five children, Chloe, Andrew, Gemma, Orlaith and Caleb, with helping him through a difficult few years which brought the death of a younger brother, Fintan, as well as that of his father.

He is now hoping his efforts can raise up to €10,000 for Console but he would also like to see the campaign raise awareness of issues around suicide.

“It is a tough conversation to have - and it’s even tougher when it’s personal - but it’s when you don’t talk about it that it can start to eat away at you a little bit,” he says.

“One of the big things for me is the idea that it’s ok to not be ok. I probably would have seen that as a weakness until recently.

“After my Dad passed I just threw myself into work, into the gym, into everything, and you don’t see yourself starting to fall apart at the seams.

“The most important thing I did was to say, look, I’m not ok. I need to stop. I needed to get away from work for a couple of weeks, which is the first time I did that. I had to stop for a few weeks and see a counsellor. The strength was in admitting that I was not ok.

“No matter what physical challenge I put myself through over the next 16 months, it surely can’t compare to what someone that’s contemplating suicide goes through.

“If this (Fit 4 Life campaign) can help one person to talk to somebody about the challenges they are going through, that’s more important than anything else.

“It’s too late to save my Dad, but there might be one person we can save by talking about this,” he concludes.

* For more details on Gerald’s campaign, visit: www.facebook.com/fit4life4gerry or email: fit4life4dad@outlook.ie  The Console helpline can be accessed 24 hours a day on 1800 247 247.